Saturday, September 12, 2009

My Week...

First off I got a good call this AM. I thought my brother in law was on his way to Afghanistan on Wednesday. Well he called to tell us he was still in Minot because they got his departure days mixed up. He will be leaving next week. Although it is only delaying the inevitable by days, I was overjoyed he was still on US soil. Whoever reads my blog please pray for him. It is deadly in Afghanistan now, some of the deadliest fighting since we have been there. Granted he is Air Force and his risk is lower than others, but being in the wrong place at the wrong time does happen.



I have been up and down this week. Personally things are a little on edge. D is having trouble adjusting back to the routine of school and work, and just the busier schedule of fall in general. He has been acting out in anger and very emotional. I admit I lost my temper yesterday morning trying to get him dressed for school. I know where I went wrong, now. Its hard to be "on" all the time. But as I figure his triggers out it helps more and more. His main concern now is people "talking" for him and the kids at school not playing with him. Weather that is true or his perception, I have to watch. He likes to play one on one. So if they are playing in a group he will not join. He expects one child to come play with him. It boils down to expectations it seems. But that seems to be general in all parts of life. Our expectations of others v our wants. ( Rambling, sorry!)

I made it through cub scout sign ups on Tuesday. A couple of new boys,mostly return customers. I had a good time networking with other troops and such. It will be the talking in front of pack meetings and calling people that I will have trouble with. I hate being the center of attention, or I should say, calling attention to myself.

Hubby and I have had a good week. He got his car last weekend, now I just have to get him to get it running with out bugging him too much. But today he is more in to building the rabbit hutch. But that's another story all together. Really this week has been just normal marital stuff and we are happy. I can not complain there. He Rocks!

Work, now that's another story! I really am upset about work and the way the whole hours discussion is going. A lot of people all ready know the situation and the problems, so I will not bore you with repeating it here. I just feel like maybe I should be more flexible with my hours and try to work it out more. I feel guilty that I am so attached to the days and times I work. But they work for my family, and really that's all that matters to me. I can not stretch my budget anymore by adding additional day care hours. And I can not stress D any more with an abrupt change in his schedule. He is having a hard enough time adjusting to first grade and the kids. UGGGG...I get mad at myself, sometimes I think I do not try hard enough. That's me, I am really hard on myself. I have struggled with my depression and anxiety so long, to tell you the truth, I do not want to work full time. What I work works for me. I know its not all about me. Am I making sense?

Well there you have it. Not really exciting I know. I can do better. Maybe now that the kids are in school my blog will get better. Who is up for an M person story? Just Kidding!!!! Really, there is nothing there. But my mother, I could fill pages there with my discontent with her!

My life is like the tide,
Ever changing emotions as it flows.
My spirit is like the wind,
Drifting where it may, blowing with the sand of time.
My love is like the tick of time,
Unstoppable.
My heart beats with the intensity of my emotions,
For you only it will break.

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