Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Monday thoughts

I voted today. Here in the Commonwealth of Massachusetts we had to vote in the special election for senate. Well, in all my voting years I have voted for Ted Kennedy, because, well that's what you do in Massachusetts! But today, I went against the grain and voted Republican, put my vote in for Scott Brown. There are a lot of reasons behind it, and the countless political ads and phone calls over the last two weeks really did not sway me. I was undecided until a week ago, and looked up all kinds of public records and articles and just went with it. Is he my all time favorite, by all means no! Is he perfect, by all means no! I disagree with some of his ideas, and agree whit others. But the fact is, Martha Coakly ticked me off. And I do not agree with some of the provisions in the health care bill going through Washington and Scott Brown is the No vote on that. So that's where I stand. Enough on that!

C had a retreat on Sunday for First Penance. In the last year I have been pushing church and catching them up on their sacraments. (much to the dismay of C!) I was surprised and happy to see how much the approach to teaching the sacrament has changed since I went through it. No hell fire and brimstone, all positive content. (Maybe it depends on the church. We have a really progressive Catholic church, with an awesome laid back priest) To help him through I decided to lead by example. I am doing a reading at the service and,since he asked, I might go to confession myself. Now, it has been 12 years since I have done it! And I have to think of a real round about way to confess the biggest sin of my life. And my dilemma is this, does a priest, a mere man, really have the power to lay his hands on you and pray and take away all the wrong you have done? Is it more to get you to acknowledge your faults and get you to think. Than really a direct line to god. If so, than I can ask god for forgiveness on my own terms, in the privacy of my thoughts and prayers, correct? My good friend J and I have talked about this in countless emails. She says I have done my penance already, that I have served my time. We will talk J. But, really I just want the boys to know that there is a Creator out there who matters and who watches over us. That we have to answer too a higher power, or there would be a world of rampant selfishness. And to feel the peace I always felt from church, even if I do not agree with all the teachings.

D has his first appointment with the new therapist on Thursday. I think he will like her, and I think he will do much better with a woman. And she specializes in Aspbergers/Autistic Spectrum disorders. And I feel like she was the first one to really listen to us. I am so excited for him to meet her. He is doing so good. I just have to watch my reactions and not fall in to his manipulative traps. He can be so sweet and loving. And I feel so bad for him when I can tell his anxiety is out of control. We just have to work on his aggression, his telling "tall tales" and his saying "everybody hates me!, I am Stupid! I am going to kill you C!" Which I think is all to get his own way and to get attention. It is hard to sort between regular 7 year old behavior and his condition. But all in all, its getting there. Than we can work on his school work. Whole other can of worms there.

Me? I am holding my own. Same old same old with unemployment and the job search. Just trying to get myself out of my funk. Wishing I could go off camping like hubby and hang around the campfire all night telling stories and laughing my ass off and being with adults. I just get to hear about it when he gets home. The awesome time he had. (With TT 's husband no less. I do not get it! But I am not going there) I got to find a way to go to a movie or dinner or something. Even by myself. I am getting so used to being in the house I am loosing the desire to do anything!

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