Thursday, June 17, 2010
"Goodbye my almost lover, Goodbye my hopeless dream. I am trying not to think about you. Can't you just let me be! My back is turned on you, should have known you'd bring me heartache. Almost lovers always do." ~ Almost lover By, A Fine Frenzy
I am scared. I wish he would just leave me alone and never call again. I thought if I left him alone he would disappear like the morning fog. But, he keeps calling to barrow something. Todd said to just let him barrow the pool pump and maybe he will shut up. I am afraid for him to come get it. Todd kept asking me what was wrong this morning but I could not get the words out. I am afraid if he comes here and I am alone with him, I won't be able to get him to leave. I just want to be good and love Todd and be left alone. I am sick of these tears coming down my face. I can not explain it. Todd might never touch me, or be so busy he can't do anything but sleep when he comes home, but he is the one I want! The one I belong with. Please God, give me the strength to tell him to leave me alone, I can't do this anymore. Why should I care about his feelings...I don't need this! I have too much other adversary in my life, let me walk away!! If I could turn back the clock I would never have turned around in that hall, I would have kept walking.