Friday, June 11, 2010

Jumble in my head

I have so much to write running around in my head. I do not know weather to start with my blog, work on my writing, or just journal all day. My mind right now is a jumble of words, prose and ramblings. I am also on my third listen of the new Eclipse soundtrack, which I got from Amazon today. I have all three and listen to them a lot. This one by far is my favorite. I am really into Indie Rock lately, I have just discovered this awesome band called A Fine Frenzy, they have been on the top of my play list this week. Along with Vampire Weekend. Now I am totally off track with what I was going to write about.

Todd is home from work today to get things ready for his canoe trip this weekend. Which happens to be the same weekend of my biggest fund raiser for the pack, the CAR WASH. I am trying to take it all in stride and not get over worked on it all. But I should have known not to stay home and wait for him to come back. Now I have wasted some running around without the boys time, and he has been gone since 7:45 this morning. I was hoping to have some time with him to talk without the boys listening in. I guess that is out of the question. With D still coming in our bed earlier and earlier I have no time to discuss personal matters with him. Like the whole M person ting and some issues with my mother, and to plan the trip to Virginia I want to take in August. I also wanted to discus me working next week and child care without D hearing and getting all upset. But, like always, I come last. I never said to him not to go or to hurry home. I just wanted an hour alone with him. The sad thing is I know they are done with the canoe thing and he and his friend are out drinking. He told the boys he would pick them up from school. Well since I have to go do that in ten minuets and he is not here I do not see that happening! I know I am bitching! (he made it to pick the boys up with me)

The M person called today. I did not answer the phone. He left a message saying he wants to borrow our air pump. And than preceded to say how Todd is never there for him anymore when he needs help and how he does not like how he treats me. Okay. Thank god no one else was here to hear this message but me. That was erased. I am pushing him to the back of my mind. I have more important things to think about than crazy people. Such as the following:

Why do bad things have to happen to good people. I mean really good people. I have this friend, a casual friend, but when we run into each other around town we talk forever and we talk on facebook. I know her because C and her son have been in the same baseball team since T-Ball. than I found out she went to Burncoat with Todd and than ended up graduating from SPM two years before me. She has four kids, she home schools, is active in her church and is just one of the nicest most spiritual people I know. She has three girls, and a boy, and two of her girls have health issues, which is why she home schools. Well her middle daughter is a eight year cancer survivor. But, they found out two weeks ago her cancer is back. And back bad. The girl is twelve. Twelve and facing this! I can not imagine the turmoil she is going through. As a mother I can not even begin to think how I would face this. Thank god she is the most religious person I know, that has to be the only way she is going on. They were supposed to be going on a mission trip to Costa Rica this summer, now that is on hold. And she was having trouble getting health insurance, but was fighting for insurance for Burmese refuges in Worcester and running an angel food pantry. I am a believer that god gives us what we can handle, but how can she handle this? So please everyone who is reading this, say a prayer for JuJu. I have been praying and praying hard. I sent her a St. Jude protection bracelet and a Novena today. Her surgery is Tuesday. I am tearing up here.........

So that is just a bit of the jumble in my head. I better get to bed. but I still feel the need to write.....

1 comment:

  1. Man, I have been away from your blog for a while. Or so it feels; I love the new look.

    Scott never hurries home from things. At times it drives me nuts. He use to have every other Friday off. He'd fill the day with appointments and could never manage to get home. I'd crave the same thing - time with just him. I don't think boys work that way. Plus the less time you have privately the more that goes on the list to discuss and then when there finally is time it turns into a darn fight. Seriously, I could go on forever. In Scott's defense he has been trying really hard since he came back from that school. But still, I know how you feel.

    I can't believe all that is happening to that one family. I will add them to my prayer list. You and I see to do the same thing - internalize others problems and want to help so badly even when we can't physically do much.

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