You know the kind, every gathering or party with a large assortment of people has them. They are especially prevalent at work gatherings, especially those work gatherings of your spouse/significant other. And the warmer summer months seems to bring out a even greater assortment of characters.(add alcohol to the mix and it gets better!) My hubby brought us to a pig roast this past Saturday to celebrate the college graduation of a co-workers daughter. They were there. The list is as follows:
THE KNOW IT ALL: He has been there and done that. From every job to meeting Jimmy Buffet he has a story to tell. He is the new guy in the office, and has to shore up his reputation as the best. You can tell he is full of it from a mile away.
THE DRUNK CO-WORKER: He is also the new guy in the company but does not have to be. He is often drunk before he gets there. It is the weekend after all! He is annoying and thinks he is a blast. Loud mouth and touchy, he makes you just feel uncomfortable. Loves to go up to every women and put his hands on you. Full of off color jokes and noise. You know he is not long for his job!
THE FAKE HOSTESS: Often time she invites co workers to make sure no one is left out, but you can tell she does not want you there. She does not even like Mr. Know it all, but did not want to start office discord. She likes your husband, but is so full of fake enthusiasm when she hugs you hello, it is extremely apparent. She had 80 people in her yard and could care less if you were there.
THE SHARK: What ever game it is, he makes it a money game. And you always feel obligated to play a $5.00 game of horseshoes.
THE SLUTTY NEIGHBOR: She is there to go after the drunk co-worker and you see them behind the house all over each other. Than she goes around drunk and touching all the men.
THE OBLIVIOUS MOTHER: You know the one, the one who lets her toddler wonder around some one's yard, and sit on tractors, and almost fall in the pool while she is chatting away. You feel obligated to walk behind the little guy and save him from near death while pretending to go back for seconds from the dessert table.
THE WHAT AM I DOING HERE PEOPLE: We sit there nodding and making forced small talk to a bunch of people we do not know, and will never see again. Usually the one person you know has left five minuets after you got there because they have the sense to get the hell out.
I could go on and on but you get the drift. I had a terrible time, but supported my husband with a smile on my face. Company parties, has to be done.