Subject 1) Ice Cream
I am not going to apologize for my intense love of ice cream. But I have noticed the recommended serving size of 1/2 cup looks better in a cone. And I can trick myself into thinking it is all I need. MMMMMMM...ice cream
Subject 2) Country Songs
Yes, sometimes life really does kick you in the ass and roll you down the hill. Take the Trace Adkins song "Your gonna miss this". Will I miss a lot of the aspects of my children when they grow up? Yes. Will I miss my seven year old in my bed pulling my hair out by the roots? NO! Will I miss the constant fighting and tattle tailing going on? NO! That song was sticking in my head, I really don't know if Country songs was the proper title for this subject. But the other song I was thinking of, was "Lover , Lover...you don't treat me no good no more.." I do not know who that is by, but it fits my life!
Subject 3) Trying to make everyone happy
Trying to make everyone happy does not work, and I am not happy. This is something I have done since I was 9, and I should know by now that no matter what I do, someone will be pissed at me. If I spend the day with my mother and invite her for dinner, she will be happy but Todd will be pissed. (everything she does pisses him off for some reason) If I don't talk to my mother for the day, Todd will be happy but she will be pissed. Trying to make Todd happy is a lost cause. I do what I think will make him happy, and I still say something wrong and get called a idiot. Or do something too slow and get called an idiot. Do something to make one child happy and the other is not happy. You see the pattern here! Happiness is over rated.
Subject 4) I am really tired
Not normal tired, could sleep every time I sit down tired, and Migraine all the time tired. Seeing little floating balls of light in my eyes tired. I know some of it is depression. I am worn out from dealing with D's temper and behavior and trying to fight for everything he needs. I am worn out from trying to make everyone happy, and I am worn out from Todd's attitude toward me. I get jealous of P and M and how they are always hugging, and taking pictures with each other, and P is just so nice to her. Todd is not mean or anything, I just know we are at that different place.
and my other blog...it is almost done. I have to get some more content in it before I let everyone know the site. I have a short fiction piece I really like, and I almost done revising it. It is slower going because school is out, but I am getting there. I am real excited about this new blog! And I am real excited about my trip to Virginia in August! I can not wait to see J! (See, I have some happy times!)
And this weekend is my brother's wedding. I am excited and apprehensive all at the same time. I really want this to be a catalyst in our relationship to build on something. I never got a response from the letter, so I don't know. I hope he read it. But I am so happy for him. Can not wait to see how this goes. And I am excited about getting dressed up and having my hair and makeup done. but i am worried because I do not get to sit with Todd. Head table and all. This will be interesting.