Wednesday, October 27, 2010

I like rainy days........

Some people hate rain. I find that I am more creative when I can hole up in the house and hide from the rain. My poetry is better, my prose comes to mind more freely and I am very thoughtful. I also spend way too much time writing and let the dishes sit in the sink and the floor goes un vacuumed! Now if I could only find a way to make money off my constant rambles we would be in business.

Price chopper called me yesterday. Thanks to a friend in Scouts I might have a job there within the next month. I could have gone to orientation today, but I want to see when all the post office stuff is starting. If I pass the driving test Friday their orientation starts on November 8th. I should have no problem with the driving test. As long as I don't have to parrel park! Price chopper will be every Wednesday from 6 Am to 12 PM. And some other days as well. The morning hours are really what I was looking for. Afternoons are real busy with the boys. So I am keeping my fingers crossed. To go from no jobs to two part time jobs would be awesome. Looks like Tom P is coming through on the mortgage. I just have to get him a check for the underwriting and he can start. Praying so hard for that. I have to save this crappy little house for the boys!

Hubby? I don't know. I am so ready to give up and say this is how it is. He says things are better, but he still doesn't "love" me. And the fact he is talking to TT again and pouring his heart out to her, and she is making him see he needs to try kind of pisses me off. I mean I am glad he is talking,but that is what the therapist is for. And he told her I cheated on him!! What she must think of me!!! I mean I hate her, but I still care what she thinks. And what if she told people? I wish he would get it. He is so self centered and so....ugg! I am trying so hard. It's hard to explain.

Well I am hungry....and I need more coffee!

1 comment:

  1. Write, write, write, and write some more. It must be cathartic! Sounds like you need it.

    Hmm TT is always bad news - but don't let it distract you! For Hubby she could just be a lion in sheep's clothing, he'll see the truth eventually - hopefully not too late. Don't give up. Keep doing your very best, the worst thing that could take place is looking back and not seeing you did everything you could. And really - who cares who he told what to, you repented a long time ago and then carried that guilt around like a cross - still do one some days. It wasn't a SOLO mistake. Which he knows and feels bad for and is misconstruing into all kinds of emotions that he has no idea what they are. ... Okay, my point: You are a very genuine person who loves her husband and wants to stay married. Keep telling yourself that - you can stay in for the long hall. Don't give up.