I like snappy titles that make you all smile. Or just amuse myself. Whatever the case, I have been positive this week and I feel it filtering down through all aspects of my day. Today it is raining. Cold, damp and dark, but I love it. The perfect day to hole up in my house and bake, read, light candles and write. If only I had more time before the kids came home from school! So here are a list of a few random things from my week:
I shaved my dog with hubby last night. She looks funny! We could not be professional dog groomers for sure. She was in need of a haircut bad and my regular groomer closed, and I couldn't get another one to call me back. It's a good thing we did it, she had a ugly looking tick on her head that I had not been able to see for all the hair. So I was able to take care of that, bathe her, apply front line and get her all cozy. This morning I laughed my ass off when I saw her. One ear is longer than the other, fur length, and we missed a spot on her hind leg. Now the other dogs are going to laugh at her!
I had a visit with my therapist yesterday that finally relieved some of my guilt on the whole M person situation, and shed some light on my present situation. Here is where the positive attitude comes in. I have been trying to give myself pep talks, increase my self esteem, and not look to hubby or others for reassurance as much. I have been trying to not get caught up in all the negative of my situations of relationship and fiances, and look for positive ways to change them. Spending energy on positive behaviors, instead of negative why me behaviors, has helped relieve some of my stress. Goals such as giving hubby a year, filling out more applications and hearing from the post office have helped me along. The therapist likes this. She also thinks that hubby needs to step up more, and she wants to see him again. She says I can't be responsible for it all. Good point! But I can only change myself!
We have heard from Tom P who is helping us on the mortgage situation and he might be making headway. I feel like this could be possible to refinance and get HSBC off our backs and save us from foreclosure. Keep all fingers crossed.
Church. Touchy subject for some, but I think going back to church and teaching CCD is helping me with this outlook. Getting lessons together for the kids is helping me explore my faith more and get some new directions and understanding of my faith. Going to church and praying again is helping me realize all I do have and what we need v what we want. Reading the Bible and the Love Dare reflections is helping me understand more deeply what it means to love and connect. The whole unselfish and complete thing. I know it might sound hokey and out there to some. But, I am finding more of me, not just who I think others want me to be. And some of that is painful to confront. But I like who I am. Uggg...I sound sappy! There is a bunch of other stuff that goes along with this like building patience and working on my temper in the morning when D is at his most difficult, and to keep on trying when it seems hopeless with hubby. I stop and take a breath and say a short prayer. It really does help!
The Book! I like writing it. Even if it sucks and no one ever reads it, I am going to finish it. Any time I can sneak in a minuet to write I sit at the computer and go to down. Or jot ideas down in my ever present notebook. I even have this soundtrack that goes along with it in my head. Hey, everyone needs a hobby. Weather it's scrap booking, knitting, painting, running...whatever. Writing is mine!
So there it is. I am going to go bake a cake before the boys get home from school. Than curl up with coffee and a book. And a warm, fuzzy, funny looking dog!