Sunday, December 11, 2011

Where has the year gone.....

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The end of the year is breathing down my neck. I look at my side bar and see how ridiculously short I have come of my 100 books in a year challenge. I should have known children, work, and commitments would make it almost impossible to hit the 100 mark. I think I still read a reasonable amount of books. More than some people I guess, but still a little low by my standards.

Than there is the goal I set for myself to have my manuscript complete by January 1st. That one is not looking so good either. I have not sat and really worked on it in over a month. The fact that the whole thing is outlined and researched, and I pretty much have it done in random notes (longhand of course), is a little bit of a comfort. I just need to find the time. I believe in this book. The few friends and one fellow blogger I have let read the completed chapters love it. I just don't know why I can't finish. I blame it on stress. I know I have plenty of that.

The stress.In the last year I have lost the house, moved, D has taken many the step forward and backward. Mom's health issues. New jobs. And the many painful decisions I have to make in the upcoming months regarding my personal relationships and marriage. Yah.. there might be some stress.

The one comfort I have. The one who lights up my world and brings smiles to my face, the one whose arms I never want to leave. Has to be locked away in my heart. Every stolen glance treasured  for a rainy day.  I couldn't bear this world without the knowledge the one is out there. And even a year is not long enough to be lost in that moment.

The year has most certainly flown by. For this blog, for my life, and for another changing season. It seems the older I get the faster the years pass. The more moments I want to cherish, the more life gets in the way. This year has been a hard one. But I am sure there are others having it worse. I have my boys, my health and a warm place to lay my head. The one thing that is missing, is maybe a perfection I can't obtain. And even I can accept that. I have three more weeks of 2011, to try and get it all done. But honestly, all I want to do is curl up in those arms.

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