I'm sitting here thinking how opposed to New Year's resolutions I am, but how determined I am to make 2013 a better year. I have had it with mistakes, negativity, self defeating behavior and depression. I want to push everything bad away and meditate on the positive. The question lies in how. How do I shut the negative tapes off in my head and run a reel of happy thoughts? It's something I have never done.
How as mother's, partners, and crazy busy woman, do we make time for ourselves and justify doing what makes us happy? That is what I have to figure out. How can I own the decisions that are best for me and not worry endlessly about what other's will think? I do that all the time. Put other's happiness before my own. I stay in situations and relationships that cloud me, just so I can make the other person happy. Just yesterday I was told I was too trusting. I am. And honestly, that has bit me in the ass the last few years.
So what if I make a conscious decision to focus on the here and now? Put my children first, as I always do, but also stop allowing people to take advantage of me. Stop loving the wrong people. Stop chasing things and people who cloud my soul and sap my energy. Focus on my writing, own the fact my first novel is coming out this year and believe I deserve it doing well. Allow myself to stop worrying about what everyone else thinks. Because really, I am not responsible for everyone else's feelings. I just have to make myself believe that.
In the course of my research for books over the last year I have read a lot on Celtic legends and practices and the Wicca covens that populated that area. One theme that pops up is the central belief they have that the one true law is "Harm None". That if what you are doing is harmful to yourself, the earth, or others, than you probably should not be doing that action. And if you think about it that makes perfect sense. It wraps all the ten commandants, all the tenants of the world's religions into one simple saying. Harm None. Do we really think how our actions radiate out and effect others? More than often we don't. When someone called me selfish a few months back they were probably right. And I need to change that.
It takes a lot to erase a lifetime of self fulfilling prophecy and negative thoughts. It takes giving myself the permission to honor my own feelings and need for happiness. So how do you do it? How do you give yourself permission to put yourself first in this world that saps the honesty from our soul. I am going to start with those two simple words... Harm None.