Wednesday, May 22, 2013

I must blog.... I must

I must blog, I must blog. I have been telling myself that all week, and everytime I sit down to write my mind goes in seven different directions. I have a little lull between book reviews, and I stepped away from my WIP because I was driving myself crazy with re-writes. But where to even start.

Like all of you my heart is heavy with the tragic news coming out of Oklahoma. It makes you want to jump on the interstate and drive all night to get there. All I want to do is comfort those families and children. The scene is heartbreaking and almost beyond comprehension. If there is one thing that legitimately scares me it's tornadoes. The power of nature is awe inspiring and heartbreaking. I urge you all to keep those affected in your prayers and donate if you can. It seems our country keeps getting it by one tragedy after another. It's sobering.  Stop and think of what really matters in life, tell those you love that you love them. Don't let a day pass where you don't cherish life. 

I have to remind myself that as I struggle with some personal issues. If you follow my blog you know my youngest son is on the autism spectrum. My primary job is taking care of him and advocating for him. After the loss of my job a few years back money has been tight. This week has tested me more than ever. But I was reminded by someone that it's those trials that make you a better person and force you to grow. Sometimes I let my negative thinking and depression get the better of me. It's easy to do, all those self deprecating thoughts that run through your head. But then I think I owe it to my boys to rise above that and be a better person for them. No matter how much I have lost, I still have them. The isolation just sometimes get's the best of me.

And love. How do we deal with the loss of love? Or even the loss of the idea of love. Deep questions I'm trying to tackle in my writing. Is it possible to love someone who doesn't love you? Of course it is. It might kill you, but love is sometimes one sided. Yah, that is going to be one heck of a book.

So after a long day of outbursts and tantrums, and trying to tie all the loose ends up, I do as I always do and try to make sense of it all at the keyboard. Maybe I'll head back to my WIP or dive into my BETA reading. Anything to quiet my overworked mind.

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