As the month winds down we still have four great authors to get to know. Today it's Jason Malcolm Stewart.
Before this tour I had no idea who Jason was, and I have learned that's a shame. Jason is a horror movie connoisseur of sorts. In fact, you can say he wrote the book on horror movies. A man of many talents, Jason has explored the connection of popular horror movies through the decades and his own work. As well as the work of others. His book, Look Back in Horror: A Personal History of Horror Film explores that concept deeper. It looks like an amazing book, and he likes a lot of the same classic horror movies as I do. (Who is going to argue the timeless impact of Bela Lugosi?)
Today Jason discusses the little things that expose you as a horror lover to others. His fun article will leave you wishing today was Halloween. Take a look at some of his classis recommendations, but beware of the things lurking just beyond the shadows. Take it away Jason:
21 Reasons Why You Are a Monster Lover
by J. Malcolm Stewart
But if you are like me (and so many others out there), this annual month-long observance of the fearful and spooky is less terrifying for you than it is for other folk.
In fact, you find yourself enjoying the diversions of October much more than any normal person really should. Haunted houses... Kids with weird rubber masks... Complete strangers coming to your door and hassling you for unhealthy food.. .It makes you proud to be an American.
Where else in the world do you have the Constitutionally protected right to dress up like Max Schreck? Cue the "The Star Spangled Banner!"
But until today, no one has been able to put a finger on exactly what's wrong with you. The consensus has been you're a little off center, but no one has ever been able to put a name to your problem.
Friends, rejoice, because the good Dr. J has the term for what plagues ya. You're a Monster Lover... With all apologies to Jeff Foxworthy.
I know, I know, nobody's ever been that blunt about it. Nonetheless, 'tis true. Now, the only way to face your fears is to name them. So, I have a little test to help you see how far gone you are. 21 Reasons You are a Monster Lover.
1 If you ever wished you could join Jack Torrance at the Overlook Hotel's New Year's Eve Party.... You might be a Monster Lover.
2 If you have driven through Mojave Desert towards Barstow, CA and wondered what those people who live on the top of the hills do for fun... You might be a Monster Lover.
3 If you can recite the last spoken line in "The Bride of Frankenstein" off the top of your head in less than 12 seconds (No Google now!).... You might be a Monster Lover.
4 If you know in which movie Bela Lugosi played a werewolf... You might be a Monster Lover (again, no Google).
5 If you have at least six reasons why Universal's upcoming Monster's Alliance would totally kick the asses of the Avengers... You might be a Monster Lover.
6 If you even know about the Monster's Alliance and can't wait til October of 2019... You might be a Monster Lover.
7 If you've ever gone to the hair dresser and simply said "Make me look like Elsa Lanchester"... You might be a Monster Lover.
8 If your hairdresser knows what the Hell you're talking about....She might be a Monster Lover, too.
9 If you ever found yourself analyzing the level of Tokyo destruction in "Destroy All Monsters" versus 1954's "Godzilla," looking for clues that Big Green was slowing down over time... You might be a Monster Lover.
10 If you yell "Shoot the Kid before she kills again!" every time you see a Romero movie... You might be a Monster Lover.
11 If you ever have invited the fellas over for pizza and watched "Re-Animator"... You might be a Monster Lover (hold out for the Director's cut and hold the anchovies).
12 If you have at least five different "favorite" scenes from "Poltergeist".... You might be a Monster Lover.
13 If the only time you stayed awake in 8th grade English was when the class read "The Masque of the Red Death"... You might be a Monster Lover.
14 If you believe that if Jane Austin really had used zombies in "Pride and Prejudice" you would have stayed awake in 11th grade English... You might be a Monster Lover.
15 If you totally think that Emily Bronte totally rules over Austin in the Romanceverse because "Wuthering Heights" has ghosts in it... You might be a Monster Lover.
16 If you ever have been a theater, turned to a friend and said, "That guy got totally Rami-ed"... You might be a Monster Lover (bonus points if your friend knows what you mean).
17 If you've ever gone to Make-Out point with your Significant Other, not to actually make out, but to like, just to hang and see if Leather-Hook shows up... You might be a Monster Lover (and totally clueless).
18 If you saw the first "Jurassic Park," and left grumbling, "But not enough people got stepped on!"... You might be a Monster Lover.
19 If you can name at least six different Hammer movies starring Christopher Lee which don't have "Dracula" in the title... You might be a Monster Lover.
20 If you can remember the lyrics to "Orc Work Song" word for word from the Ralph Bakshi animated version of LOTR... You might be a Monster Lover.
In fact, you answered seven or more of these questions in the affirmative, you meet the criteria of a Monster Lover. What's my prognosis? Sadly, there is no cure... But fret not! You are a perfect candidate to read my new book, Look Back In Horror: A Personal History of Horror Film because clearly that's the only chance society has to protect itself. Thanks again and enjoy the rest of October!
J. Malcolm Stewart is a Northern California-based public relations/marketing professional. He holds degrees in Political Science and Comparative Religion, but can have a conversation without starting a small war. Long interested in suspense, thrillers and horror, his short fiction has appeared in the Pulp Empire Anthology, the "Heroes of Mars" anthology, Twisted Tails VII and the Smoke and Mirrors.us Podcast. His newest work, Look Back In Horror: A Personal History of Horror Film is available now on Amazon.com. When he's not writing or reading, J. Malcolm spends his weekends talking about how to avoid being in a real-life horror movie.
Find him on his website: http://about.me/jaymal